Live & Kern

I liked school. This is likely not a surprise. The third grade school was just a couple of blocks from our house. Fourth grade, though, was a little farther away. Walking took about the same time as riding the bus, so on nice, sunny days my neighbor Carrie and I would walk to and/or from school.

The only trouble we encountered was a group of bullies — four or five boys about our age or a little older. Most of the time we could avoid them. They called us names and yelled at us and once threw rocks, which broke the colored pencils I had in my backpack. I don’t remember walking home from the fourth-grade school very often after that.

At Saturday’s auction, in addition to the records, I also ended up with several books. I only wanted a few, but the auctioneer thought I needed them all. There’s a small collection of White House related biographies and autobiographies — Henry Kissinger, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon and Harry S Truman. I’m most interested in those that are more than 50 years old.

“Paul and Virginia” by Bernardin St. Pierre, 1890: There’s no publication date in the book, which is labeled the “Arlington Edition” on the front cover. There are 12 pages of ads in the back, all for other books.

“One Thousand Pointers for Machinists and Engineers” by Chas. McShane, 1897. Original price: $1.50. It’s all about locomotives!

“Burt’s French-English Dictionary” by J.E. Wessely, 1900: It might’ve been written by Wessely, but the title page is quick to point out it was “rewritten, improved, and greatly enlarged by L. Tolhausen and George Payn in collaboration with M. Eug. Heyman.” The original price was $1; the yard sale sticker on the front cover is for 50 cents.

“The Pilgrim’s Progress” by John Bunyan, 1903.

“The Vicar of Wakefield and Poems” by Oliver Goldsmith, 1908. Written on the inside cover in pencil: A man, a moon; A main, a boat; All afloat.

“Out of the Primitive” by Robert Ames Bennet, 1911. Written in pencil on the first page: Myrtle Adams Scott, from Mrs. John O. Wolfe, High School Class 14.

“Their Yesterdays” by Harold Bell Wright, 1912: The first few pages are loose. The chapters go through the “13 truly great things of life”: Dreams, occupation, knowledge, ignorance, religion, tradition, temptation, life, death, failure, success, love and memories.

“Starr, of the Desert” by B.M. Bower, 1917.

“That Human Being: Leonard Wood” by Hermann Hagedorn, 1920. Someone used the inside covers as a coloring book.

“The World’s One Hundred Best Short Stories; Volume Two: Romance,” 1927: Where are the other nine volumes?

“Short Stories,” 1934: This book was edited by H.C. Schweikert, Central High School, St. Louis.

“Delilah” by Marcus Goodrich, 1941: The fictional story of the USS Delilah is stamped on the sides “USS Barnwell.” The very real Barnwell was built and used in World War II.

“Code of a Champion” by Frederic Nelson Litten, 1950. An Arkansas Library Commission book, it has been stamped “discard” — perhaps because the first page has been ripped out.

“The Man from Missouri: The Life and Times of Harry S Truman” by Alfred Steinberg, 1962: This also was at some point a library book — the Murrell Library at Missouri Valley College in Marshall, Mo., to be specific.

“The American Woman’s Cook Book,” 1967: I love old cookbooks, so I’ll probably keep this one. They’re a unique look into life at the time of publication. Where else can you find a Corn Pudding recipe that makes a sauce out of 2 tablespoons of fat, flour, milk and seasonings?

You can learn a lot about a person by the records he auctions.

On Saturday, I went to an auction and ended up with a 1940 Underwood typewriter and a collection of records. It was an all-or-nothing deal, and only $2 for all. All are singles, most are 45s, and none have covers.

The 78s:

• Harry Adams: “Arkansas Traveler” / “Milk Bucket Boogie”
• Ben Light and the Steinway: “I’ll See You in My Dreams” (there’s a chip on the edge of this side) / “My Blue Heaven”
• Claude Thornhill and his Orchestra: “A Sunday Kind of Love” / “Sonata”
• Frankie Carle and his Orchestra: “What’ve You Got to Lose (But Your Heart)” / “Easy Pickin’s”
• Frankie Carle and his Orchestra: “I Had a Little Talk With the Lord” / “A Little of the Lonely Side”
• Jo Stafford: “Once to Every Heart” / “Keep it a Secret”

The 45s:

• Air Supply: “Lost in Love” / “I Don’t Want to Lose You”
• Herb Alpert: “Aranjuez” / “Rise”
• Ambrosia: “Biggest Part of Me” / “Livin’ on My Own”
• America: “A Horse with No Name” / “I Need You”
• Paul Anka: “I Don’t Like to Sleep Alone” / “How Can Anything Be Beautiful — After You”
• Bachman-Turner Overdrive: “Free Wheelin’” / “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet”
• Bachman-Turner Overdrive: “Tramp” / “Let it Ride”
• Bay City Rollers: “You Made Me Believe in Magic” / “Dance Dance Dance”
• The Beach Boys: “The T M Song” / “Rock and Roll Music”
• Bee Gees: “Stayin’ Alive” / “If I Can’t Have You”
• Bee Gees: “Edge of the Universe” / “Nights on Broadway”
• The Bee Gees: “Country Woman” / “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart”
• Debby Boone: “You Light Up My Life” / “He’s a Rebel”
• Glen Campbell: “By the Time I Get to Phoenix” / “You’ve Still Got a Place in My Heart”
• Glen Campbell: “Lonely My Lonely Friend” / “Try a Little Kindness”
• Glen Campbell: “Wichita Lineman” / “Fate of Man”
• Carpenters: “Road Ode” / “Yesterday Once More”
• Carpenters: “Saturday” / “Rainy Days and Mondays”
• Carpenters: “Superstar” / “Bless the Beasts and Children”
• Carpenters: “I Kept on Loving You” / “(They Long to Be) Close to You”
• Cher: “Mama (When My Dollies Have Babies)” / “You Better Sit Down Kids”
• Cher: “The Way of Love” / “Don’t Put it on Me”
• Chicago: “Just You ‘N’ Me” / “Critic’s Choice”
• Chicago: “If You Leave Me Now” / “Together Again”
• Chicago: “Colour My World” / “I’m a Man”
• Commodores: “Still” / “Such a Woman”
• Perry Como: “It’s Impossible” / “Long Life, Lots of Happiness”
• John Conlee: “Rose Colored Glasses” / “I’ll Be Easy”
• The Cowsills: “What is Happy?” / “Hair”
• Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: “Our House” / “Deja Vu”
• Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: “Carry On” / “Teach Your Children”
• Christopher Cross: “Never Be the Same” / “The Light is On”
• Cymarron: “Rings” / “Like Children”
• John Denver: “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” / “My Sweet Lady”
• John Denver: “Take Me Home, Country Roads” / “Poems, Prayers and Promises”
• Diana Ross and the Supremes: “Love Child” / “Will This Be the Day”
• Dire Straits: “One World” / “Walk of Life”
• The Doobie Brothers: “Without You” / “Long Train Runnin’”
• Doors: “Wild Child” / “Touch Me”
• Big Al Downing: “The Story Behind the Story” (mono) / “The Story Behind the Story” (stero) (Promotion copy)
• Robbie Dupree: “Steal Away” / “I’m No Stranger”
• Yvonne Elliman: “Love Me” / “(I Don’t Know Why) I Keep Hangin’ On”
• Emotion: “Samantha Sang” / “When Love is Gone”
• Exile: “You Thrill Me (Edit)” / “Kiss You All Over (Edit)”
• Freddy Fender: “Before the Next Teardrop Falls” / “Waiting for Your Love”
• Englebert Humperdinck: “Release Me (And Let Me Love Again” / “There Goes My Everything”
• Fleetwood Mac: “Sara” / “That’s Enough for Me”
• Four Seasons: “Who Loves You” / “Who Loves You (Disco Version)”
• Gordon Lightfoot: “Sundown” / “Too Late for Prayin’”
• Gordon Lightfoot: “If You Could Read My Mind” / “Me and Bobby McGee”
• Grand Funk: “Destitute & Losin’” / “The Loco-Motion”
• Grand Funk: “Some Kind of Wonderful” / “Wild”
• Grand Funk Railroad: “I Come Tumblin’” / “Footstompin’ Music”
• Grant Grieves and the Flashbacks: “I’ve Got You” / “Good Time Girl”
• Al Green: “Let’s Stay Together” / “Tomorrow’s Dream”
• Al Green: “School Days” / “Sha-la-la (Make Me Happy)”
• Andy Gibb: “(Love Is) Thicker Than Water” / “Words and Music”
• Hot Chocolate: “A Love Like Yours” / “Emma”
• Hugo Montenegro and His Orchestra: “For a Few Dollars More” / “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”
• The Jackson 5: “I’ll Be There” / “One More Chance”
• Jethro Tull: “Bungle in the Jungle” / “Back-Door Angels”
• Elton John: “Conquer the Sun” / “Little Jeannie”
• George Jones: “He Stopped Loving Her Today” / “A Hard Act to Follow”
• K.C. and the Sunshine Band: “I Betcha Didn’t Know That” / “Please Don’t Go”
• Kris Kristofferson: “Why Me” / “Jesus Was a Capricorn (Owed to John Prine)”
• Kris Kristofferson: “Help Me” / “Why Me”
• Led Zeppelin: “D’yer Mak’er” / “The Crunge”
• The Lemon Pipers: “No Help From Me” / “Green Tambourine”
• The Lettermen: “I Believe” / “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You”
• Melissa Manchester: “I Got Eyes” / “Midnight Blue”
• Barry Manilow: “I Write The Songs” / “A Nice Boy Like Me”
• Bobbi Martin: “For the Love of Him” / “I Fall to Pieces”
• Meat Loaf: “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” / “For Crying Out Loud”
• Anne Murray: “Another Sleepless Night” / “It Should Have Been Easy”
• Anne Murray: “Why Don’t You Stick Around” / “Broken Hearted Me”
• Anne Murray: “Somebody’s Waiting” / “Could I Have This Dance”
• Anne Murray: “I Still Wish the Very Best for You” / “You Needed Me”
• David Naughton: “Makin’ It” / “Still Makin’ It”
• The New Seekers: “Look What They’ve Done to my Song Ma” / “It’s a Beautiful Day” — This one has a yard sale price sticker on it: “25 cents or 5 for $1.”
• Randy Newman: “Short People” / “Baltimore (Edit)”
• Olivia Newton-John: “I Honestly Love You” / “Home Ain’t Home Anymore”
• Orleans: “Dance With Me” / “Ending of a Song”
• Donny Osmond: “The Wild Rover (Time to Ride)” / “Go Away Little Girl”
• Donny and Marie Osmond: “I’m Leaving it (All) Up to You” / “The Umbrella Song”
• Ozark Mountain Daredevils: “If You Wanna Get to Heaven” / “Spaceship Orion”
• The Partridge Family: “I’ll Meet You Halfway” / “Morning Rider on the Road”
• Peaches & Herb: “We’ve Got to Love One Another” / “Two Little Kids”
• Ray Price: “For the Good Times” / “I Won’t Mention it Again”
• Prince: “I Wanna Be Your Lover” / “My Love is Forever”
• Raspberries: “Hard to Get Over a Heartbreak” / “Tonight”
• Raspberries: “Let’s Pretend” / “Every Way I Can”
• Jim Reeves: “I’ve Enjoyed as Much of This as I Can Stand” / “Don’t Let Me Cross Over”
• Charlie Rich: “The Most Beautiful Girl” / “I Feel Like Going Home”
• Johnny Rivers: “Outside Help” / “Swayin’ to the Music (Slow Dancin’)”
• Kenny Rogers: “You Decorated My Life” / “One Man’s Woman”
• Kenny Rogers: “Love the World Away” / “Sayin’ Goodbye/Requiem: Goin’ Home to the Rock”
• Neil Sedaka: “Laughter in the Rain” / “Endlessly”
• T.G. Sheppard: “You Feel Good All Over” / “I Wish That I Could Hurt That Way Again”
• Bobby Sherman: “One Too Many Mornings” / “Little Woman”
• Barbra Streisand: “Woman in Love” / “Run Wild”
• Edwin Starr: “War” / “He Who Picks a Rose”
• Styx: “Lady” / “Children of the Land (Short Version)”
• Sugarloaf/Jerry Corbetta: “Texas Two-Lane” / “Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You”
• Donna Summer: “There Will Always Be a You” / “On the Radio”
• James Taylor: “Steamroller” / “You’ve Got a Friend”
• Joe Tex: “I Gotcha” / “A Mother’s Prayer”
• B.J. Thomas: “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head” / “Never Had it So Good”
• Hank Thompson: “Point of No Return” / “Tony’s Tank-Up, Drive-In Cafe” (Promotion copy)
• Conway Twitty: “She Thinks I Still Care” / “I’d Just Love to Lay You Down”
• Frankie Valli: “My Eyes Adored You” / “Watch Where You Walk”
• Randy Vanwarmer: “Just When I Needed You Most” / “Your Light”
• Roger Voudouris: “Get Used to It” / “The Next Time Around”
• Willie Nelson: “Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain” / “Remember Me (When the Candle Lights are Gleaming)”

Last week, the bank that my grandfather and great-grandfather owned was robbed. A man wearing a motorcycle helmet and long black coat walked in with a handgun. He walked out with about $2,500.

This is not the first time the bank has been hit by a motorcycle helmet-wearing robber.

In the ’80s, a man wearing a motorcycle helmet walked in and robbed the bank. My grandfather owned the bank at the time, but had the day off. He often rode a motorcycle; the bank employees thought it was him, fooling around. It wasn’t.

Growing up, my mother often repeated two pieces of advice. One: “Never rob a bank. It’s a federal offense. If you’re going to rob a business, you’re better off with the local grocery store.” (Two: “If you break the law, call the cops. Because when I show up, you’ll want to be under their protection.”)

Years later when I was in college, my friend Jon and I discovered we had lived in neighboring small towns. (My family moved before I started second grade.) And that his father was the helmet-wearing man who robbed my grandfather’s bank.

Last week’s robber is on the lam; last time, it took several months to catch the robber.

For a couple of years, I’ve been collecting headlines for Story of Man. Tonight, Twitter friend Lance Kidwell caught a great newsfeed juxtaposition.

Week made.