Holiday movie night: “Christmas Inheritance”

16 Dec

Ellie is ridiculous and awful. Jake isn’t much better, but with a worse haircut. He’s the country to her city. Ugh. There’s weather. And it turns out “there’s no vacancies at the inn.” Ellie holds a baby and suddenly everyone sees her in a different way. Amazing.

Holiday movie night: “A Holiday Engagement”

9 Dec

A journalist (and I’m using that word loosely here) gets a call while she’s on an assignment that her newspaper has filed for bankruptcy and is closing. (Her prize story is about a dog rescue … with a photo of her hugging a dog. Ugh.) But the bankruptcy, at least, sounds about right.

Her mom’s a bitch. The Jewish boyfriend knows a lot of Christmas songs — the religious ones. Not just the words, but how to play them on the piano. The story lacks heart and depth.

Holiday movie night: “How Sarah Got Her Wings”

8 Dec

Woman dies and tries to play matchmaker. She also helps open a bar and invades people’s minds. Steve Jobs dies and runs all technology in heaven, which is suspicious.

Holiday movie night: “Merry Kissmas”

7 Dec

Even the title is cringe-worthy.

People chase each other with a nutcracker. Doris Roberts gets inappropriate in an elevator. Mean things are said about “crazy cat ladies.”

Holiday movie night: “Small Town Santa”

6 Dec

Awful. So very, very awful. This must be a script someone wrote for a high school or college assignment.

Actual line from the movie: “The big city can go … and eat a bag of stale popcorn.”

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