Live & Kern

Cute premise. Predictable plot. Terrible dialogue.

Ellie is ridiculous and awful. Jake isn’t much better, but with a worse haircut. He’s the country to her city. Ugh. There’s weather. And it turns out “there’s no vacancies at the inn.” Ellie holds a baby and suddenly everyone sees her in a different way. Amazing.

A journalist (and I’m using that word loosely here) gets a call while she’s on an assignment that her newspaper has filed for bankruptcy and is closing. (Her prize story is about a dog rescue … with a photo of her hugging a dog. Ugh.) But the bankruptcy, at least, sounds about right.

Her mom’s a bitch. The Jewish boyfriend knows a lot of Christmas songs — the religious ones. Not just the words, but how to play them on the piano. The story lacks heart and depth.

Woman dies and tries to play matchmaker. She also helps open a bar and invades people’s minds. Steve Jobs dies and runs all technology in heaven, which is suspicious.

Even the title is cringe-worthy.

People chase each other with a nutcracker. Doris Roberts gets inappropriate in an elevator. Mean things are said about “crazy cat ladies.”