Tag Archives: Blackwater

Don’t invite the gnomes

10 May

gnomeMy hometown (or at least the town we lived the longest in) of Blackwater, Mo., is very small. The 2000 census counted 199 residents, which seems a bit high. (In 1995, it was 159.) In 1920, the town’s peak, Blackwater boasted a population of about 600 people.

Something sinister has been taking place in Blackwater the past couple of years. Gnomes are moving in — which explains the population bump. In fact, gnomes are being invited: People keep setting up “gnome homes” in their front yards. The town’s (sad) website even includes a photo of the gnome home that started it all. (Do you see how big that home is for that tiny gnome?) Gnome homes are the new status symbol.

Every time I go visit my mother, I fear I will have to battle evil little gnomes. Thank goodness she doesn’t have a gnome home, and has big dogs to keep the gnomes at bay. (Evidently cumquats can be used to kill gnomes. I’m stocking up.)