Erica for vice president

If Sarah Palin can be vice president, then anyone can be vice president. I can be vice president.

Palin played basketball in high school — the team won the state title her senior year. Her nickname was “Barracuda.”

I was the manager of the girls basketball team my junior year of high school. I was also on the debate team and a member of darn near any other club you can imagine throughout high school. I won awards for my work on the high school newspaper. I brought home a couple of debate trophies. I placed fifth in FLBA’s national word processing contest. I was a nerd, but people still called me by my name.

Palin attended five universities in six years. She graduated from the University of Idaho in 1987 with a degree in journalism; she minored in political science. She did not work for the college newspaper or TV station.

I attended one university for four and a half years. (Although technically I transferred credits from State Fair Community College that I earned in high school.) I graduated from Northwest Missouri State University in 1999 with a bachelor of science degree in journalism; I minored in multimedia. I worked for the college newspaper, The Northwest Missourian, for four and a half years; the yearbook, Tower, for a year; and the college’s travel magazine, Heartland View, for a year. At the various publications, I worked in advertising (sales and design), reporting (briefly), copy editing, design, Web and was the paper’s editor in chief. (At the paper, I did all of those jobs at some point.)

Palin worked as a sportscaster for KTUU in Anchorage after she graduated.

I worked as a news designer for The Times of Northwest Indiana in Munster, Ind., after I graduated.

Palin got married, had a kid and joined the PTA.

I have a cat and joined SND.

Palin had more kids and was elected mayor. She caused a stir for asking how to ban books from the public library.

I still have the bloodthirsty cat and moved her across the country to start a news design job at The News Tribune, in Tacoma, Wash. I added features design to my resume while I was out there. I bought books at local book stores, but never tried to ban them. (In middle school I did read “Satanic Verses” by Salman Rushdie — it’s on some banned book lists.)

Palin worked and became governor of Alaska. She dealt with budgets and personnel and bridges and may have fired someone who wouldn’t fire someone else, causing lawsuits and scandal. She put the state jet on eBay, but no one bid on it so she sold it offline.

I returned to The Times of Northwest Indiana and became the design editor. I dealt with budgets and personnel and bridges and had to fire someone, but it was very well documented so no lawsuits or scandal. I also have never sold a plane on eBay.

Palin had more kids.

My cat is still alive. Part of my family even moved in with me for a year and a half, and they’re still alive, too.

I think this clearly proves that if Sarah Palin can be vice president, then I can be vice president. And no one wants that.


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