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Holiday movie night: “Small Town Santa”

6 Dec

Awful. So very, very awful. This must be a script someone wrote for a high school or college assignment.

Actual line from the movie: “The big city can go … and eat a bag of stale popcorn.”

Holiday movie night: “Naughty & Nice”

5 Dec

Who thinks that anyone on a radio station uses Apple earbuds in the studio? And then it got worse. So much worse.

Holiday movie night: “12 Dates of Christmas”

4 Dec

Woman obsessed with her ex-boyfriend goes on a blind date. The same blind date. 12 times, of course. On Christmas Eve. All through the magic of, well, holiday magic.

He’s great. She’s fairly awful. But she’s the star, so she has 12 chances to become a real person.

Holiday movie night: “Dear Santa”

3 Dec

Poor Amy Acker. She gets chased by so many monsters; she deserves good things. I’m not sure this is it.

Rich mom threatens to stop funding her rich 30-year-old daughter’s life unless she “figures it out” … or at least finds a man. Moms. Meanwhile, a little girl writes to Santa looking for a new mom; her mom died a year ago. So of course the rich woman stalks the girl and her father. Of course.

There’s a weird food fight. A catty woman fighting for an engagement ring. And the whole thing about finding a step-mother ASAP is weird. But somehow this was one of the most watchable holiday movies so far.

Holiday movie night: “A Christmas Kiss II”

2 Dec

Look, it’s another workaholic woman trying to compensate for being so miserably single!

The evil boss/girlfriend from “A Christmas Kiss” is back. She seems happier. This series has a thing for smooching in falling elevators. And falling asleep on couches.

Workaholic’s dad is a jerk. The playboy co-worker/wanna-be boyfriend is like the Grinch trying to learn to like people. It’s adorable to see a magazine editor try to understand the internet. But also very sad.

Hello, product placement! The sequel wasn’t worse than the first movie. It also wasn’t better.